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May you find comfort and joy in these encouraging quotes about Funnier.
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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