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If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu
When the tempest rages, when the thunders roar,
and the lightnings blaze around us
it is then that the truly brave man stands firm at his post.
- Luther Martin
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
- Muhammad Ali
One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)
Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man can do only what he can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at night
and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer
Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays
Circumstance does not make the man: it reveals him to himself.
- James Allen
Man's enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself.
- Lao Tzu
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie
Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every man must decide whether he will
walk in the light of creative altruism
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
An honest man is always a child.
- Socrates
If you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language,
that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela
He is a wise man who does not grieve
for the things which he has not,
but rejoices for those which he has.
- Epictetus
The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
- Mark Twain
The eyes of the cheerful and of the melancholy man
are fixed upon the same creation;
but very different are the aspects which it bears to them.
- Albert Pike
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb
A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.
- Seneca
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man,
but he is brave five minutes longer.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.
- the movie Braveheart
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it.
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear.
- Nelson Mandela
A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile
Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.
- Albert Schweitzer
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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