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It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
by H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Religion

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

 

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy,
but that it is a bore.
It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want,
and deserve to get it good and hard.
- H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness,
but after that he begins to bunch them.
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Women have simple tastes.
They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
- H. L. Mencken

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and
free than Christianity has made them good.
- H. L. Mencken

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
- H. L. Mencken

No man ever quite believes in any other man.
One may believe in an idea absolutely,
but not in a man.
- H. L. Mencken

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
- H. L. Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone,
and (b) that is not true.
- H. L. Mencken

One may no more live in the world without picking up
the moral prejudices of the world than one will be
able to go to hell without perspiring.
- H. L. Mencken

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating
the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
- H. L. Mencken

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in
terms of the not worth knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Say what you will about the ten commandments,
you must always come back to the pleasant fact that
there are only ten of them.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
- H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

A society made up of individuals who were all capable
of original thought would probably be unendurable.
- H. L. Mencken

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure
he is one of God's children,
but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars
more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
- H. L. Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear;
what sting is justice.
- H. L. Mencken

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never
been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely.
It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
- H. L. Mencken

Time stays, we go.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe in only one thing: liberty;
but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
- H. L. Mencken

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
- H. L. Mencken

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches.
But there has never lived a man so philosophical that
he could see the toothache in his own humor.
- H. L. Mencken

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling
backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean,
and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.
- H. L. Mencken

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one
lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
- H. L. Mencken

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear -
fear of the unknown,
the complex, the inexplicable.
What he wants above everything else is safety.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women
that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
- H. L. Mencken

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion;
it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker,
but simply because I detest the sort of people who
go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
- H. L. Mencken

All men are frauds.
The only difference between them is that some admit it.
I myself deny it.
- H. L. Mencken

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
- H. L. Mencken

Man is always looking for someone to boast to;
woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
- H. L. Mencken

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately
in the palpably not true.
It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it,
but not if he is married.
- H. L. Mencken

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with,
even if he drank.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear,
simple, and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

There is always an easy solution to every problem -
neat,
plausible, and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their
marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
- H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything.
I am strongly in favor of common sense,
common honesty, and common decency.
This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf.
- H. L. Mencken

Poetry has done enough when it charms,
but prose must also convince.
- H. L. Mencken

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes
sports hates common sense.
- H. L. Mencken

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents,
he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
- H. L. Mencken


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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