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Encouraging Quotes
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An income tax form is like a laundry list -
by Fred Allen

An income tax form is like a laundry list -
either way you lose your shirt.
- Fred Allen

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
- Fred Allen

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
- Fred Allen

 

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children,
except in self-defense.
- Fred Allen

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college,
won the case, and got my tuition back.
- Fred Allen

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's
lane holding his own hand.
- Fred Allen

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I play a musical instrument a little,
but only for my own amazement.
- Fred Allen

Television is the triumph of machine over people.
- Fred Allen

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats;
then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
- Fred Allen

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
- Fred Allen

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
- Fred Allen

Television is a device that permits people who haven't
anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
- Fred Allen

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style;
it will just look ridiculous year after year.
- Fred Allen

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
- Fred Allen

I don't have to look up my family tree,
because I know that I'm the sap.
- Fred Allen

My uncle is a Southern planter.
He's an undertaker in Alabama.
- Fred Allen

An actor's popularity is fleeting.
His success has the life expectancy of a small boy
who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
- Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure
that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men
whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
- Fred Allen

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
- Fred Allen

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with
carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
- Fred Allen

I always have trouble remembering three things:
faces,
names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
- Fred Allen

California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
- Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor.
The competition from bad actors is too great.
- Fred Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood,
place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have
room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
- Fred Allen

If I could get my membership fee back,
I'd resign from the human race.
- Fred Allen

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood
who will associate with a producer.
- Fred Allen

A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing,
but together can decide that nothing can be done.
- Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live -
if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir;
two hundred people changed their religion.
- Fred Allen

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
- Fred Allen

I can't understand why a person will take a year to
write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
- Fred Allen

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit
of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
- Fred Allen

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk;
today we have small men enjoying big talk.
- Fred Allen

I have just returned from Boston.
It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
- Fred Allen

A committee is a group of the unprepared,
appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
- Fred Allen

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
- Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
- Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
- Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church.
They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times,
but a good press agent can do even better.
- Fred Allen

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do
nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
- Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their
life to become well known,
and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
- Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns;
he should be drawn and quoted.
- Fred Allen

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
- Fred Allen

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing,
but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
- Fred Allen

We are living in the machine age.
For the first time in history the comedian has been
compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material
to compete with the machine.
Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
- Fred Allen

It is probably not love that makes the world go around,
but rather those mutually supportive alliances through
which partners recognize their dependence on each other
for the achievement of shared and private goals.
- Fred Allen

People try to live within their income so they can
afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.
- Robert Half

The rate of interest acts as a link between income-value and capital-value.
- Irving Fisher

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return.
It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
- Arthur C. Clarke

I started on an Apple II, which I had bought at the
very end of 1978 for half of my annual income.
I made $4,500 a year, and I spent half of it on the computer.
- Bill Budge

It takes as much imagination to create debt as to create income.
- Leonard Orr

During that first year, I felt guilty that my wife
was out working bringing in all our income,
while I was at home playing on the computer,
so I made myself treat writing like a job.
- George Stephen

We simply have to become more competitive as a state
if we're going to be successful in creating jobs,
bringing capital investment and raising income levels here in South Carolina.
- Mark Sanford

When it comes to the income of the ministry,
I have no problem talking about it or what happens to the money.
- Benny Hinn

I never stopped making pictures.
There were times when more of my income was coming from other sources,
and I had to devote more time to television and movies and records.
- Martin Mull

I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George
W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it,
I would vote yes on first blush.
- Jerry Falwell

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man
in London if he has a comfortable income.
- George Bernard Shaw

Pell Grants are, and have been, critically important
tools in making higher education a possibility for lower-
and middle-income students.
- Christopher Dodd

I am not against hasty marriages where a mutual flame
is fanned by an adequate income.
- Wilkie Collins

Elections should be held on April 16th-
the day after we pay our income taxes.
That is one of the few things that might discourage
politicians from being big spenders.
- Thomas Sowell

When there is an income tax, the just man will pay
more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.
- Plato

A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.
- Lord Chesterfield

Higher income taxes are a razor guillotine poised to
descend on the bare neck of prosperity.
- Thomas H. Kean

I had a couple come in with a negative amortization
mortgage on a house that costs way too much relative to their income.
They're consuming real estate, not investing in it.
- Chris Cooper

I'm angry when we have to use state dollars to fill
holes in our low-income heating assistance program
because there isn't enough support from Washington.
- Jodi Rell

The tax relief that this Congress has given now in
terms of four tax cuts has overwhelmingly gone to the
people at the very top of the income scale in America.
- Richard Neal

The closest thing to a law of nature in business is
that form has an affinity for expense,
while substance has an affinity for income.
- Dee Hock


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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