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It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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