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Wil Wheaton Quotes

May you find comfort and joy in these encouraging quotes by Wil Wheaton.

My wife is the most awesome person in the universe.
She's made this experience much less miserable for me,
with her compassion, patience and understanding.
- Wil Wheaton

If the world were a bar, America would currently be
the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun.
Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him,
but they sure as hell don't respect him.
- Wil Wheaton

I'm guess I'm up to about 70% of normal,
which is a real relief.
My doctor gave me clearance to go out in public again,
so I've been able to go to the store and help out a
little bit around the house.
- Wil Wheaton

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

 

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage:
the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it.
Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return.
Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?
- Epictetus

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

A son is a son till he takes him a wife,
a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
- Irish Traditional

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
- E. Joseph Cossman

I'm a fun father, but not a good father.
The hard decisions always went to my wife.
- John Lithgow

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife;
she has thought much worse things about you.
- Jean Rostand

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

Basically my wife was immature.
I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress;
when I get tired of one,
I spend the night with the other.
- Anton Chekhov

I got up with my wife, I sat down at the computer when she went to work,
and I didn't stop until she got home.
- George Stephen

When a man opens a car door for his wife,
it's either a new car or a new wife.
- Prince Philip

A man's home is his wife's castle.
- Alexander Chase

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
First, let her think she's having her own way.
And second, let her have it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
- David Ogilvy

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him
is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.
- Barry Goldwater

The woman is uniformly sacrificed to the wife and mother.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home,
and broods a nest of sorrows.
- Jeremy Taylor

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
- Michel de Montaigne

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
- Cyril Connolly

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,
and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
- Martin Luther

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but
tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
- Sacha Guitry

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher...
or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
- Douglas Adams

A woman must combine the role of mother,
wife and politician.
- Emma Bonino

There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me
want to run home to be with my wife.
- Steven Curtis Chapman

There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.
- Mike Ditka

You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
- James H. Boren

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when
two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife,
confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
- Homer

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife
an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck

My wife and I have so much fun when we travel and find anything...
like stray cats and squirrels.
- Eric Roberts

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him.
Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
- Harold MacMillan

I don't think my wife likes me very much,
when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
- Frank Carson

The man in our society is the breadwinner;
the woman has enough to do as the homemaker,
wife and mother.
- Dorothy Fields

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams

It's tough to stay married.
My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Caesar might have married Cleopatra,
but he had a wife at home.
There's always something.
- Will Cuppy

The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope
that keeps up a wife's spirits.
- John Gay

If I had no family, my wife and I would lead a much
more romantic and nomadic existence.
- David McCallum

During that first year, I felt guilty that my wife
was out working bringing in all our income,
while I was at home playing on the computer,
so I made myself treat writing like a job.
- George Stephen

My wife was too beautiful for words,
but not for arguments.
- John Barrymore

I was lucky to have my wife as the art director,
and it turned out to be quite something -
a great success.
I'm very proud of it.
- Helmut Newton

Sometimes, when my wife and I were going out to dinner,
I would take my laptop with me and work in the car,
so as to take advantage of the half hour going and coming.
- Thomas Friedman

Men will bear many things from a kept mistress,
which they would not bear from a wife.
- Samuel Richardson

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
- Shelley Winters

Do you want to be an artist and a writer,
or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes.
I don't want to go to PTA meetings.
- Stevie Nicks

If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe.
If she's happy then I'll be happy.
- Chris Daughtry

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others,
they have a hundred when alone.
- Edgar Watson Howe

A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity
of a rougue to retire upon.
- Thomas Moore

I have one main reader, Miriam Gomez,
my wife.
She reads everything I write - I have not finished
writing something and she is already reading it.
- Guillermo Cabrera Infante

The ultimate end of your education was to make you a good wife.
- Mary Wortley Montagu

For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
- James Herriot

Take my wife...
Please!
- Henny Youngman

I'm very fortunate in that I don't have money problems.
I have lunch with my wife at home.
I don't have to commute, so I have much more time with my family.
- Kazuo Ishiguro

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous.
The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her.
- Tony Blair

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the
wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
- Zig Ziglar

When one has love for God, one doesn't feel any physical attraction to wife,
children, relatives and friends.
One retains only compassion for them.
- Ramakrishna

The man who loves other countries as much as his own
stands on a level with the man who loves other women
as much as he loves his own wife.
- Theodore Roosevelt

I'm leaving because I want to spend more time with my wife in Chicago.
- Bill Lipinski

My wife is wonderful.
She's one of the people who has changed my life around...
or has allowed ME to change my life around.
- Rob Walton

How can a Man respect his Wife when he has a contemptible
Opinion of her and her Sex?
- Mary Astell

I met my wife, Doreen, who was a dancer in the show.
- Ernie Wise


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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