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May you find comfort and joy in these encouraging quotes by W. Somerset Maugham.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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