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Stephen Leacock Quotes

May you find comfort and joy in these encouraging quotes by Stephen Leacock.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible
as an argument than a whole one.
It carries better.
- Stephen Leacock

Related topics: Trust

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland
than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
- Stephen Leacock

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake
of marrying the whole girl.
- Stephen Leacock

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact
degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
- Stephen Leacock

 

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram -
that is,
an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described,
but which is equal to anything.
- Stephen Leacock

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse.
This, however, I have.
I get it at about forty cents a flask,
and take it as required.
- Stephen Leacock

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.
- Stephen Leacock

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
- Stephen Leacock

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon
his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
- Stephen Leacock

It may be those who do most, dream most.
- Stephen Leacock

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.
- Stephen Leacock

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
- Stephen Leacock

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing,
except Wales, which doesn't.
- Stephen Leacock

A sportsman is a man who every now and then,
simply has to get out and kill something.
- Stephen Leacock

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence
long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock

There are two things in ordinary conversation which
ordinary people dislike -
information and wit.
- Stephen Leacock

The classics are only primitive literature.
They belong to the same class as primitive machinery
and primitive music and primitive medicine.
- Stephen Leacock

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die,
which is not so.
- Stephen Leacock

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears to-night,
we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one
who will laugh at the professor.
- Stephen Leacock

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all,
because it isn't.
I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
- Stephen Leacock

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should
not be two charges for the same thing.
- Stephen Leacock

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that
we first make believe a thing is so,
and lo, it presently turns out to be so.
- Stephen Leacock

Life, we learn too late, is in the living,
the tissue of every day and hour.
- Stephen Leacock

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law,
but being a form of moral effort.
- Stephen Leacock

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given
to fishing by people who can't fish.
- Stephen Leacock

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one,
there would be little fault to find with it.
- Stephen Leacock

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you.
The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
- Stephen Leacock

It's called political economy because it is has nothing
to do with either politics or economy.
- Stephen Leacock

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative.
The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive,
but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing,
but the moths get into it.
- Stephen Leacock

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
- Anonymous

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Confidence is half of victory.
- Yiddish Proverb

Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin

Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How you respond to the challenge in the second half
will determine what you become after the game,
whether you are a winner or a loser.
- Lou Holtz

I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.
- Jewel

A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.
There is an almost universal quest
for easy answers and half-baked solutions.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis

We should not pretend to understand
the world only by the intellect;
we apprehend it just as much by feeling.
Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is,
at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest,
also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
- Carl Jung

The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

I used to want to be a lawyer, but I didn't want to
have half my brain sucked out.
- Max Walker

A painting that is well composed is half finished.
- Pierre Bonnard

America is the best half-educated country in the world.
- Nicholas M. Butler

A lie can travel half way around the world while the
truth is putting on its shoes.
- Charles Spurgeon

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than
half of the people are right more than half of the time.
- E. B. White

I started on an Apple II, which I had bought at the
very end of 1978 for half of my annual income.
I made $4,500 a year, and I spent half of it on the computer.
- Bill Budge

Rome has not seen a modern building in more than half a century.
It is a city frozen in time.
- Richard Meier

I don't know why people question the academic training of an athlete.
Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated
in the bottom half of their classes.
- Al McGuire

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.
- Francis Bacon

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
- Erma Bombeck

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window,
except that the birds might eat them.
- Martin Henry Fischer

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau

I tell people I'm too stupid to know what's impossible.
I have ridiculously large dreams, and half the time they come true.
- Debi Thomas

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Knowledge is only one half.
Faith is the other.
- Novalis

About half my designs are controlled fantasy,
15 percent are total madness and the rest are bread-and-butter designs.
- Manolo Blahnik

Shrinking away from death
is something unhealthy and abnormal -
which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
- Carl Jung

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
- Yogi Berra

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars,
would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.
- Bette Davis

Life is half spent before we know what it is.
- George Herbert

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you
don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
- Flip Wilson

I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating
only the top half of each slice.
- Barbra Streisand

But there isn't any second half of myself waiting to
plug in and make me whole.
It's there.
I'm already whole.
- Sally Field


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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